Time Stop!: Aaron Takes The Orphanage.

I’ve been playing D&D for about as long as I’ve been playing Magic and I learned it from the same group of friends. Naturally we would sometimes mess with each other in game as we would often do outside of the game. So our campaigns tended to be a bit on the lighthearted side. One of the most memorable of these campaigns would be my first. So this is the story of “Aaron takes the Orphanage”.

Now, nobody’s first campaign is a well played one. You’re still learning and trying to get the hang of things so sometimes your character doesn’t always make total sense, or is even sometimes a little over(or under) powered depending on how generous of a DM you had. My DM for my first game was my buddy Dave and he was trying his best to help me and my other friend Alex through our first game. So he was being a fair bit more generous than he maybe should’ve been.

So for this game we just had three of us playing along; Alex, Aaron and myself. The campaign itself was a Star Wars  campaign and we started off on this foreign planet that was being threatened by the looming threat of the Empire. We were a little ways through our campaign and we were searching for a way to get off the planet. None of had any passports to get off the planet but Aaron(I believe) had piloting skills. So we were attempting to find a ship that we could pilot off of the planet before, well, kaboom!

In terms of any sort of combat skills or utilities I was pretty much useless but what I did have was a lot of charisma which helped us to gather info on the location of someone who could help. Here’s the thing. My character wasn’t exactly keen on fighting and would much rather have talked his way onto a ship than anything else. I also wasn’t the most loyal member of the team on largely did things to benefit myself. So when we made it to the location I announced to my teammates that I was going to take a different route in to scout out the area.

So Alex and Aaron walk into this building and I’m calling to them from the outside and asking them what they see inside. It turned out that the building was just an orphanage. Aaron asks the DM how many orphans were in the room.

Dave rolls up the number and looks back, “There are 143 orphans in front of you.”

Aaron looks at his character sheet and back at Dave, “Apparently my blaster has multi-fire.”

Dave: “Yes it does.”

Aaron: “I open fire on the orphans.”

Dave: “OK, Alex roll initiative.”

Alex: “What!? I didn’t want to do this! *Aresol* we’re being attacked by orphans!”

So, of course I hear all of this go down. Even if I hadn’t the blaster shots would’ve tipped me off. As I said before, though, my character wasn’t very interested in fighting. So naturally I didn’t go in.

Dave: “*Aresol* you hear Alex calling out to you. What do you do.”

Me: “I’m gonna take off.”

Alex: “What the Hell!?”

Dave: “OK, where do you want to go.”

Me: “To the nearest space port.”

So I head to the nearest space port and I walk up to the receptionist. Now if you remember I don’t have a passport but I have damn high charisma and no team to hold me back. So I roll to see if I can convince the receptionist to let me in for free. It works. Dave then moves the game back to the orphan fight which isn’t going too well. They’re managing to take out the orphans easily enough but the problem is that they are faced with waves of them.

Back to me, the receptionist has asked me where I want to go to. I decide to try my luck and charm her again by asking where she would like me to take her. I roll high, it works. So me and the receptionist, who’s name I never asked, get on the ship and take off for this resort planet designed for luxury. While on the ship I decide that I’ve gotten bored again and I try to charm one of the workers on board. It works again and now I have a girl in each arm as I head for this resort.

Back at the orphan fight Aaron and Alex are down to their last few health points. They’re fate is sealed and they know that they’re going to die. They both try to roll one last big attack and fail the roll. I don’t remember who rolled it but one of them rolled a one. So for added insult Dave had the remaining orphans eat them.

Cut back to me and I’m sitting on the beach with two beautiful women in complete luxury. That my friends is how I saved the galaxy. Good end.

Now, I urge any new players to not mimic my actions during this game. As I said before it was my first game and I was really into this to have fun. Still, a big part of D&D is the team and you should really stick to your companions. Even if one of them decides to fire into a crowd of hungry orphans. After the game ended we started up a new campaign and I played it pretty straight and stuck with my team but there’s something so conniving yet triumphant about my first campaign that makes me really love to tell its story.

I have some other stories about D&D that I could really tell but I think I’ll space them out a bit. I hope you guys liked this short little excursion into one of my games. Until the next bit of craziness.

-Aresol-

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